A picture of Central Park.
Hi. This time I’ll tell you about all what happened when I left Sally. When I left the skating ring I went to this drugstore to buy something to eat. Then I went to a phone booth. I thought maybe I’d give old Jane another buzz and I’d check if she was home yet. I thought that I’d have another evening free and I’d take her dancing or somewhere. I had never danced with her. I saw her dancing once and she looked gorgeous. So, I gave her a buzz again, but her phone didn’t answer. I looked into my address book to see who might be available to see that night. I couldn’t find anybody except for Carl Luce. I didn’t like him too much but he was one of that smart guys. He had the highest IQ and I thought we could have a dinner and an intellectual conversation. When I gave him a buzz he said that he wouldn’t have time for a dinner. However, he added he would be available for a while but in the evening. So I had quite a bit of time to kill till ten o’clock, so I went to the movies at RadioCity. I regreted that decision. All the films were dull to me, and it’s not even worth describing them. After the movies were over I walked down to the Wicker Bar where I was supposed to meet Carl Luce. That bar was in that swanky hotel, the Seton Hotel. I used to go there a lot. It was pretty early when I came in there. I sat down at the bar and had a couple of scotch and sodas before Luce showed up. He came after a few minutes. He never said hello, or anything when he met you. He only sat down and said that he could stay only for a couple of minutes. But he was a pretty intelligent guy and I didn’t know why, I just started to kid him a bit. I wanted to talk with him seriously but that was a problem with intellectual guys; they never wanted to talk to you in a serious way unless they felt like it. We talked a bit about his new girlfriend, who was Chinese, and I started to kid with him again. He told me that I was immature and I should visit his father, who was a psychoanalyst. In the end he said that he had to go and then he left me alone. So I just kept sitting there and getting drunk and waiting for the two singers to show up and sing, but for a change, there came a girl called Valencia and a flitty-looking guy with wavy hair. She wasn’t good at singing but she was at least better than that two girls before her. When she finished I called a waiter and asked him if he could give her a message that I’d like to have a drink with her. Of course he didn’t give her that message. People never gave your messages to anybody. So, all I could do is getting more and more drunk. And again I felt like giving old Jane a buzz if she was home yet. So I paid my check and left the bar and went to the phone. But when I got there I changed my mind. I thought that I was too drunk to talk to Jane and I called Sally. Her grandmother picked up the phone and gave me Sally after a while. However, she didn’t want to talk with me, especially when I was drunk. So I hung up and went to men’s room. I dunked my head in cold water in a washbowl and then I sat on the radiator because I was shivering like a bastard. I was sitting there for a while when suddenly that guy who was playing the piano came in. I tried to talk with him but he just told me to go home. So after some time, I finally got up and went to the hat-check room. I started to cry there. I thought just because I felt so lonely and depressed.
When I got out of the bar, I wasn’t so drunk any more. It was getting very cold again but I didn’t feel like getting on a bus or cab again. And I didn’t even know where I was supposed to go, so I decided to go to that little lake in the park and look if there were any ducks. I was always interested where the ducks went when the lake was frozen. So I started walking towards the park. Then something terrible happened just as I got to the park. I dropped Phoebe’s record. It broke into pieces. It was in an envelope but it broke anyway. I almost started crying again, but the only what I did was to take the pieces out of envelope and put them in my pocket. I just didn’t feel like throwing them away. Although I lived in New York for years, I couldn’t find that lake. I must have been more drunk than I thought. I just kept on walking and looking for it. And finally I found it. It was partly frozen but I couldn’t find any ducks around. Finally, I sat down on the bench where it wasn’t so dark. I was still shivering like a madman, and the hair that I had put under water was now frozen. That worried me. I’d get pneumonia and die. I started to think what my funeral would be. I knew what Allie’s funeral was like. All relatives and acquaintances came. I didn’t see it because I was in hospital but D.B. told me about it. Anyway I was still worried that I’d get pneumonia. I started to think about my family. Suddenly, I felt like talking with Phoebe and, because I thought that I was going to die, I decided to go to my house and talk to her. My parents should’ve been asleep plus I had my spare home keys so I could wake Phoebe up and talk with her. So, I wasn’t thinking much and I went to my house.